Jill Hubbard Cleaver
4 min readNov 29, 2023

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HOLIDAYS: GREATER BALANCE THROUGH GREATER CONNECTION WITH YOUR GOD AND YOUR SPOUSE

The word holiday comes from the Old English word haligdaeg (halig = holy + daeg = day).

Do Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years feel like holy days, to you? What does holy mean? Merriam-Webster uses words like sacred, divine, and devoted to Diety. Are your holidays devoted to Diety? Do they feel sacred? Do they feel divine?

Do you agree that holidays can feel more divine if we increase our connection with our God and our spouse? If so, how? I would like to propose 3 ways we can increase our connection this holiday season.

FIRST: Be still.

Calm your nervous system.

Psalms 46:10 tells us to be still and know God. Stillness can be achieved in a variety of ways. Some people take up running or go for a slow walking meditation. Others might sit in a swing, sit quietly and breathe deeply, focus on a scripture verse or do qi gong. There are also techniques to rewire the nervous system, which can be found on the internet.

Stillness can feel foreign and uncomfortable to us. To find the methods that work for you, try experimenting with different ways. Then it takes a lot of practice. You might want to start with 5 minutes per day, gradually increasing the time.

How can we possibly know God if we are constantly on the run and constantly filling our minds with more noise and more information. For that matter, how can we know our spouse if we don’t have a little quiet time together?

Some people like to actually sit still. Others need to move rhythmically, slowly and gently. Do you feel that you don’t have time? Try pausing for a few moments here and there throughout the day. Schedule it if you need to.

Be still. Stillness can feel holy.

SECOND: Look.

There is a chapter of scripture which uses some form of the words look, see, behold 63 times!! That is a lot of times in one chapter! (Nephi 11) Awareness is so valuable. God is the most important person to look at. Every week we promise to always remember Him. The word Behold makes me think of holding God in my awareness. I love to close my eyes and just look at Him, wonder about Him, admire and appreciate Him, not saying a word.

Do you feel loved by God? If not, look more closely at Him. 1 John 4:4 says “God is love”. Look for evidence of God’s love. It is everywhere. Go to Him and to His Word to get a fresh perspective of Him. How would He like us to see Him?

Pause for a few moments here and there throughout the day. Sit quietly on a soft chair or bundle up and go for walking meditation. Breathe and look more closely at Him. Get curious. Open a space in your day and in your heart. Pause. Breathe. Look at Him. Behold Him. Hold Him in your mind and in your heart.

THIRD: Receive.

Receive light and love. Radiate light and love.

Receive God’s love. Breathe it in. Visualize light flowing toward you and through you. Visualize light and love radiating from God to you and your spouse. Then see that light growing brighter as it gathers with yours and increases and spreads. Since God is love, see the light as love. See yourself and your spouse as light and love, continually radiating from God and to God. See it increasing in brightness and beauty.

Moses 3:5 says, “For I, the Lord God, created all things, of which I have spoken, spiritually, before they were naturally upon the face of the earth.” Since God created everything spiritually first, and we are children of God, then we also create things spiritually, first. We see it and plan it before we do it. Sometimes this happens so subconsciously, automatically, and habitually that we don’t realize it. Spiritual creation is powerful.

We can create. It’s starts with a desire and a decision. Pause. Breathe. Decide. Look. Visualize.

CONNECTION: We are designed to connect. No man is an island. Make a conscious decision to connect with God and with your spouse this holiday season. It only takes moments here and there throughout the day. When you wake up in the morning, say to yourself, “Today I choose to connect. I choose to pause and breathe and behold and connect.”

I would love to sit with you and hear of your experience with connection. Have a beautifully connecting holiday!

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