Stop Needing Your Spouse to be Different
What happens when you need your spouse to be different?
Do you start to act a little manipulative?
It’s okay if you would like your spouse to change something, but needing them to change in order for you to feel better, doesn’t make you feel better. It makes you feel dissatisfied with your marriage.
It’s okay to express your desires. In fact, if you don’t, they may never know what you would like from them.
What if you express your desires for change and change doesn’t happen? Do you want to put forth the effort to manage your own thoughts, feelings and actions? You get to decide.
Once upon a time there was a wife that needed her husband to give her more attention. Her efforts to get him to change made it easier for him to feel bad about himself, and feel inadequate in his marriage. So she tried a different approach. Every time she thought about her husband or interacted with her husband she got curious about what was going on for him. She also tried to put on the mind of Christ, “What would Christ think right now?” She clearly expressed to him, her desire for more attention, then started giving him more pleasant attention.
Something beautiful began to happen inside of both of them. They somehow felt more acceptance of themselves and each other. They began to feel a greater sense of connection.
It doesn’t feel very good if someone is trying to make you change.
Love and acceptance, and having someone believe in you, creates a beautiful space in which to create your best self.
Stop needing your spouse to be different.
1. Love them, genuinely.
2. Let them know your desires.
3. Be your best self.